


Good-bye Pissbaby Dream

by Baby_blwe



Category: Minecraft (Video Game)
Genre: But he's still funny, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Funerals, George and Techno are only mentioned, Mentions of car wreck, Sapnap's a bitch, just read the summary
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-04
Updated: 2020-10-04
Packaged: 2021-03-07 20:54:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,549
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26813962
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Baby_blwe/pseuds/Baby_blwe
Summary: (alternate title: Sapnap roasts dream at his own funeral)Basically, Dream watches his funeral in spirt and Sapnap tries to lighten the mood. It works really well actually.
Relationships: None
Comments: 6
Kudos: 191





	Good-bye Pissbaby Dream

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this at 4am, please be nice. I'm really sorry if there are spelling mistakes, spell check only gets paid so much man.

Dream sat in the rafters that filled the top of the room. He watched as people filtered through the open door. Looking down at the faces he saw family members, and friends, and some who were both. Some looked as if they had been crying, others just looked grim.

He sighed to himself, shifting to sit more comfortably on the beam. This all was just his type of rotten luck. After all that he had been through, a tree in the middle of the road is what took him out. The cliche of the was so painfully obvious to him he wanted to cringe.

Letting out an even longer sigh he looked back down at the gathering of people. Too focused on what was about to happen, he failed to realize another spirit had come up behind him. He let out a scream as a hand came down onto his shoulder. Whipping around he turned to see the face of a kind looking man, the man didn’t look older then 30 or so. Dream put his hand over his chest as if there was still a heart there that would beat harshly from the scare. 

The older man looked over Dream’s head, “Are they for you?” he asked, nodding at the people still milling around below them. The living had no idea of the conversation happening above their heads. 

Dream nodded his head still warily watching the figure in front of him. Seeing Dreams cautious look the man chuckled softly and shook his head, “Where are my manners, my name is Jasper.” 

He held out his hand for the other to take. Dream shook the mans, Jasper’s, hand. Dream laughed softly along with the ghost. “My name is Dream.” his voice took on a teasing lit “Jasper, huh? That sounds oddly like Casper, any relation?”

Jasper laughed along with Dream, it wasn’t very common that new ghosts made jokes while watching their own funeral. Shaking his head he responded with the same tone Dreams voice held, “unfortunately no, but I do wish to meet my idol some day”. 

They shared a loud laugh before Jasper remembered where they were. He looked down at the gathering and assumed they were about to start, the casket had already been brought in. 

Resting his hand back on Dream’s shoulder he spoke softly to the man, “you don’t have to stay you know? They’ll be alright on their own” 

Dream shook his head, he couldn’t leave just yet. He had to see what his friends were going to say about him. Jasper just shook his head, not many people took the offer of leaving. Everyone wanted to hear the last words of their family.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dream’s family had all gone up one at a time. They had said beautiful words about Dream’s life and most of his family had to leave due to the tears shed. Soon all that was left was almost all of his online friends. 

Dream was honestly surprised to see so many of the people he knew over the internet arrive at his funeral, he guessed that he had affected more people than he thought. Dream was honestly happy that all of his family members had left, he didn't want to know their reactions to what he thought was about to happen.

As Sapnap walked up to say his last words about his best friend he kept his head low. Most believe that Sapnap had tears on his face, but Dream knew better. Dream sat up straight when the texan reached the stage. 

Jasper looked over at Dream. He laid a hand on Dreams arm for the third time tonight, seeing your friends speak over you was always one of the hardest parts. Though if he had looked closer, or knew Dream even a little bit better, he would have seen that Dream wasn’t dreading the speech. He was anticipating it. 

Sapnap looked out at the people gathered for Dreams funeral. He saw so many people he knew. Looking at each face he realized that only the people that remained were people that knew dream online. Looking down at the speech he had written, he realized that Dream wouldn’t have wanted a sad and sorrowful funeral. Dream would have been groaning at all the empty, flowery words most people before him had said. Making his decision Sapnap decided to forgo his speech and say something that Dream would have actually wanted said at his funeral.

Clearing his throat, Sapnap searched out his friends in the small crowd. While he was certain he wanted to do this, as certain as he could be having made the decision only a second earlier, he needed support on what he was about to do. He found George's eyes fairly quickly. Brown eyes looked back at Sapnap. ‘do it’, George’s face screamed, ‘what are you a coward?’. Egged on by George’s stare he steeled himself and began to speak.

Jasper tightened his grip on Dream’s arm. Even if the newly dead didn’t cry at the words said, he usually did. He bowed his head in respect for the words that were about to be spoken

“Today we have gathered to celebrate the life of pissbaby Dream” Sapnap’s voice rang loudly in the quiet area. There was a shocked silence before chuckles and giggles were let out across the room, all the people that had remained knew what was about to happen. 

Jasper, on the other hand, did not. He whipped around to look at Dream. He expected to see the new spirit looking offended, and more likely than not, angry. Instead he found Dream smiling down at his friend with a calculating look.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Dream nodded his head at Sapnap’s opening line, it was a classic meme of him on twitter, and it was very well known. Overall it was a strong start. What would be the deciding vote, however, would be what Sapnap follows with.

Sapnap gained confidence from the laughs that had risen from the group below him. He continued on, 

“Dream had accomplished many things in his life” he started to tick his finger off as he listed things Dream had “achieved”. “Becoming a meme, starting a cult, and making all of twitter hate him in a single night”. Dreams friends laughed again, they knew that Dream would be protesting if he was there. While that thought sobered some, many found the fact that Sapnap took this opportunity to roast Dream hilarious. 

Dream was part of the group that found Sapnaps word hysterical. He doubled over in wheezes. Once he had straightened up he gave his best friend a small golf clap. He was proud of Sapnap for going through with his plan.

Jasper just looked at Dream like he had lost it.

Sapnap smiled at all of the people around him. He knew that he had to say the entire speech like this, it would be disrespectful to his late friend if he stopped now.

“But overall, Dream’s greatest achievement will always and forever be holding the title of ‘The Biggest George simp the world has ever seen’.” he looked directly into George’s eye as he said this. The death glare Sapnap was getting was making the whole situation a hundred percent better. “This man spent hours roasting any girl that tried to date George, he planned his first date with George when asked during a Love or Host interview, he even had people trick George into saying ‘I love you Dream’ on stream. And all of this was done while relentlessly made fun of George himself.” Everyone in the crown was laughing in some way at this point. Some were chuckling lightly. While some were almost on the ground from the pain of laughing.

Dream was hanging onto one of the rafter beams to ensure he didn’t fall. He was barley abe to hold himself up with how hard he was laughing. 

Jasper clutched the sleeve of Dreams hoodie in worry. He was so confused at this point, funerals were either suppost to be sad, when people showed up and cried at their loss, or disappointing when no one showed up. The latter was rare as almost everyone had people that cared. He had never seen a funeral where eveyone, including the new spirt, was laughing. 

Sapnap held his straight face while everyone calmed down, he still had to deliver his last line. People realized fairly quickly that Sapnap hadn’t left the stage. As the room became silent once again Sapnap struggled to force down his smile. 

“And if I can say one last thing in the face of this travesty, I would like to say” Sapnap paused for a moment, trying to force down the laugh that bubbled up in his chest, “I would like to say. Subscribe to Technoblade” There was a pause before the entire room dissolved into laughter and noise, most of the shouting coming from Techno himself.

Dream laughed and shouted with his friends before turning to Jasper. Nodding his head, he signaled that he was ready to crossover to wherever he was going. Before he went he laid a promise that he would be the one to greet his friend once they joined him. Mostly so he could punch Sapnap for calling him a simp.

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this at 4am, please be nice. I'm really sorry if there are spelling mistakes, spell check only gets paid so much man.


End file.
